I hope you have the answers to the questions I am about to ask you. Because I don’t. I don’t know what this craziness is, I don’t know where this is coming from, neither can I explain fully the logic behind how things are spinning way out of my control too quickly.
We can blame it on circumstances. Maybe the circumstances of our lives right now, yours and mine, individually, are reasons to justify how we were destined to meet. But I’m not too sure if I’m ready to put destiny in the equation. It’s a little too quick for us to jump on that destiny conclusion before we factor in everything else. Maybe it’s time…the time when I met you was as timely as the year was coming to an end, and I was ready to start a new chapter in my life, and along came a new person into it. Maybe it was that first conversation, which sparked something between the both of us, making me keen on exploring the possibilities. Or maybe…maybe there is just no reason nor excuse needed to explain this anymore.
It drives me crazy wondering how and why we spin into this territory that I seldom want to go into; emotions. How on earth did you become the first person I think about every morning, out of all the people who have existed in my life longer than you have? How do you explain why you are the only person I think about every night before I go to sleep, out of the many things I have to think about in preparing myself for the next day? Why does a mention of your name make me turn, and why does seeing a new text message from you make me smile or even giggle when I’m alone in the train or at my desk in the office?
Why is it that I feel that spending 25 hours a day with you is never enough? How did you figure out how to make me laugh or what makes me happy when I start to frown or worry about other things? Why do I feel like I’m the luckiest girl right now because I have you?
I’m about to brace myself for the unknown, and for the first time in the longest time, I’m ready to open that pandora’s box of emotions, a territory I have not long ventured into because I often fear the unknown. But this time, there seem to be a sort of serendipity in the way things are unfolding and I am thirsty for more of it, to see how it’ll grow and develop from here. For what it’s worth, I’m ready to take a shot at it if you are.
Yours truly.
